Week 22 Essay Writing Lessons: Understanding Student Examples + Outline for Second Essay

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• vmbo lwoo, vwo
• Leerjaar 5

Today's plan

1) At the end of this class, you will understand the teacher feedback and use it for your next essay. 

2) At the end of this class, you will have started creating an outline for your practice essay on BNW & HMT

Flashback

What should you avoid at all costs in your essay?

A few things to note....

- One could say OR the book explains OR Lenina is (just state it as a fact, we know that YOU are writing it.)

- The Brave New World? What is the planet called?

- The World State? Who are the ones in charge?

- omit contractions!

- Use quotations! 

- avoid using But at the beginning of a sentence. 

essay ouline ( recap) 

language: ( how) formal, and why? 

clichés

Practice Essay 2

Essay question: 

How is education considered a means of manipulation in Brave New World and The Handmaid's Tale? 

Connecting the question to the books

2. Find 3 instances in the Brave New World where this is present/talked about. 

3. Find 3 relevant quotes in Brave New World connected to these instances.

4. Explain their context and what this means for the story. 

Guidelines arguments 

- Structure your arguments in a way that the final argument is the most important. Make sure that the two previous arguments lead up to this final argument. 

- Do your arguments provide an answer to your question? If not, you may have to be more specific, cut out the details and be more focussed. 

Flashforward

Thursday: outline ready so that classmates can provide feedback. 

Friday: start writing 

Thursday June 8th: hand in for feedback 

If you want to check your essay question for the pto 4, I will provide you with feedback. You can do this up until the test. 

Mention 1 thing you take away from this class. Mention 1 thing you do not fully understand.

Today's plan

1) At the end of this class, you will have analysed a few essay examples. 

2) At the end of this class, you will have worked on the outline of your second practice essay. 

Flashforward

Thursday: have 3 arguments ready and finalise outline 

Friday: give feedback and start writing 

Thursday June 8th: hand in for feedback 

If you want to check your essay question for the pto 4, I will provide you with feedback. You can do this up until the test. 

The savage reservation

Lenina is a woman who grew up on the Brave New World. She is a classic citizen of the BNW. She is flirtatious and sees promiscuity as a part of maintaining social stability. She did exactly what the world state asks and she's statisfied of her class.....................................During her trips to the reservation with others, Lenina gets a glimpse of the local scene. She is full of curiosity and confusion about the savage reservation and she is also puzzled by the traditions of the old world............This kind of confusion becomes the nudge to pry her worldview and she begins to doubt her own worldview and way of life. Through Lenina a character who has totally followed the rules of the Brave New World, readers can see how her world falls apart. In the book, it makes it easier for the World State to identify and destroy the possible mind which can be dangerous to the society with the help of the savage reservation. Also, keeping the existing of the savage reservation is also a kind of black humor. The BNW citizens see this place as a zoo. 

An example: analysis

- Why do you think I find this essay strong in terms of analysis? 

- What do you think is strong in this essay excerpt? Mention 2 things. 

- Can you think of 1 possible improvement? 

How do the values of the World State, that diverge from John's, affect John's identity and sense of belonging

Given the fact that John had parents, and a mother who was very present in his childhood, John grew up learning various values that were not in line with the ones in the World State. Two distinct moments in the book illustrate the clash between John’s mindset and the mindset of people who were born and raised with the principles of the World State...... In chapter 17, John and Mustapha Mond discuss religion. It becomes clear that they have different perspectives on God. John finds it a natural feeling to believe there is no God, which also shows that he has a religious side to him. Mond, on the contrary, goes against this ideology. He states that “people believe in God because they’ve been conditioned to do so” (BNW, p. 207). It is no surprise to the readers that Mond, advocate of the World State, would believe that conditioning plays a role in religion. Conditioning is a reoccurring method used in The World State to modify the human mind and make it contently perform certain functions.  

An example: structure

- Why do you think I find this essay strong in terms of structure? 

- What do you think is strong in this essay excerpt? Mention 2 things. 

- Can you think of 1 possible improvement? 

A few things to note....

- One could say OR the book explains OR Lenina is (just state it as a fact, we know that YOU are writing it.)

- The Brave New World? What is the planet called?

- The World State? Who are the ones in charge?

- omit contractions!

- Use quotations! 

- avoid using But at the beginning of a sentence. 

Practice essay 2 

How is education considered a means of manipulation in Brave New World and The Handmaid's Tale?

 

Practice essay 2: let's work

1. Write down or think of what you need to improve/do differently in next practice essay. 
2. Find 3 instances of how this question is present in both books: How is education considered a means of manipulation in BNW and THM?
3. Create your outline so that you can receive feedback tomorrow. 

 

Mention 1 thing you take away from this lesson and 1 thing you would like to practice more or do not understand.

Today's plan

1) At the end of this class, you will have checked your essay question.

2) At the end of this class, you will have started creating 3 arguments for your essay on Brave New World that are in line with your question. 

*Leerdoelen zijn RTTI geformuleerd (in leerlingentaal).

Creating 3 arguments

Today's plan

1) At the end of this class, you will have worked on the outline of your second practice essay. 

2) At the end of this class, you will have provided feedback to each other. 

Outline Practice essay 2 

How is education considered a means of manipulation in Brave New World and The Handmaid's Tale?

Anything you remember about the structure & analysis of the body paragraphs in essays? 

 

Flashforward

Thursday: have 3 arguments ready and finalise outline 

Friday: finishing outline, give feedback (start writing)

Thursday June 8th: hand in for feedback from me. 

If you want to check your essay question for the pto 4, I will provide you with feedback. You can do this up until the test. 

A few things to note....

- One could say OR the book explains OR Lenina is (just state it as a fact, we know that YOU are writing it.)

- The Brave New World? What is the planet called?

- The World State? Who are the ones in charge?

- omit contractions!

- Use quotations! 

- avoid using But at the beginning of a sentence. 

Guidelines arguments 

- Structure your arguments in a way that the final argument is the most important. Make sure that the two previous arguments lead up to this final argument. 

- Do your arguments provide an answer to your question? If not, you may have to be more specific, cut out the details and be more focussed. 

Work on your outline for your essay for the next 20 minutes.

Thesis question: 

How is education considered a means of manipulation in Brave New World and The Handmaid's Tale?

 peer feedback duos: 

1. Soemaya - Sandy                  8. Sultan - Melyat

2.Ebrar - Yagmur                       9. Wiktoria - Naoual 

3.Bin - Tasnime                         10. Safae - Mariam

4.Jianhao - Asma                    11. Selin - Joudi 

5. Dewi - Basem                        

6.  Elif - Zahrah                                   

7.  Riem-  Nayab                                        

Checklist

- Check each other's arguments. 

- Use the essay outline to guide you and keep in mind that the arguments should give an answer to the question. Are the 3 arguments clear and focussed enough for an essay of 600-800 words? Give 3 positive comments and 2 possible improvements. I expect you to help eachother and exchange thoughts. 

Finishing outline/ writing the essay

- Start writing the essay by using the outline you have made. The outline has to be right in order to write the essay. 

- Start with the introduction, you do not need to have the full intro done in order to write the body paragraphs. 

- Make sure to mention what you will do in the essay + the essay question in the intro. Use linking words to link the paragraphs. 

Flashforward

Thursday: have 3 arguments ready and finalise outline 

Friday: finishing outline, give feedback (start writing)

Thursday June 8th: hand in for feedback from me. 

If you want to check your essay question for the pto 4, I will provide you with feedback. You can do this up until the test. 

Mention a) 1 thing you take away from this lesson AND b) 1 thing you would like to do more in English class OR do not understand.