Lesson 9/02 Revision Essay Writing

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• vwo
• Leerjaar 5

Essay Writing

Revision

Rubric

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D - Language

Use a varied range of complex grammatical structures

• Conditionals
• The passive
• Inversion
• Verb patterns
• Relative clauses
• Modal verbs
• Reference and ellipsis
• Use different tenses appropriately (see grammar reference p. 215-216)

Complex grammatical structures

Passive

• If this habit is taught at a young age, a fit and healthy generation will rise into this world.
• This condition is mostly caused by obesity, bad eating habits and sedentary lifestyle.

Relative clauses

• Students who do not have time to do after school physical activities will be able to enjoy...
• It is the teacher who has the responsibility to... / It is student who has the opportunity to...
• A physically active person is more likely to be happy and healthy, which makes him a better student in the classroom.
• Young people spend on average 8 hours a day at school, which is ⅓ of the day.  
• Nowadays most students/teenagers have a smartphone, which gives them access to a variety of online resources

Complex grammatical structures

Conditionals

1st conditional (= a possible future situation and its probable result)

• According to a recent study, if you surround yourself with positive people then you will probably become more positive. 
• If adolescents exercise on a regular basis, they will become healthier and more fit.

2nd conditional (= wish / imaginary situation in the present or future)

• If adolescents exercised more, they would reduce the risk of getting these diseases.

Complex grammatical structures

Verb patterns (-ing form, infinitive with 'to, infinitive without 'to'

Having computers involved with activity is an excellent way of encouraging children to exercise, but it also acts as a double edged sword.

Having PE one a week will not compensate for all the hours we spend sitting.

Doing certain easy sports or simply exercising after school at the school gym would be very convenient because you are already there.

With the guidance of the adults and all the sources the school can offer their students, it would be the solution to encourage us to keep fit 

Complex grammatical structures

Modals (can, could, should, would, may, might)

• An alternative approach would be to obligate students to apply for a membership of a sports club.
• In conclusion, to be able to encourage our youth to do more physical activities, we should target schools as they take a considerable role in young people’s lives
• For example, fitness apps can be easily downloaded, so students can follow an online workout at home

Complex grammatical structurs

Inversion

• It does not only enhance your physical health, it also helps you to be happier and to live longer.
• Not only does it enhance... , it also...
• Not only did he leave dirty footprints all over our carpet, but he also sat on my glasses.

• Seldom have people ...
• Never have I/people seen ...
• Little did they realise that ....

D - Language

varied range of vocabulary 

• use synonyms (less repetitive)
• use nouns (more formal). Compare: became more -> increased -> An increase in ..... 
• use collocations / vocabulary from units 4 + 5 
• "Use language for essays" p. 197

YOUTH AND SPORTS 

   

It is a well-known fact that most people, especially teenagers, do not like exercising. It is already a very hard habit to pick up and unless the kids are encouraged, most won’t be able to pick up a sport on their own. 

So how can we motivate them to keep fit?

Useful language (p. 197)

• To begin with, no one would dispute the fact that schools provide great benefits for the individual, educationally and socially. 
• It is probably true to say that children in today's era love using computers.
• Furthermore, there can be no doubt that this generation is a technological one.

A - Content

Make sure that you follow the instructions and your essay sticks to the topic.

• Discuss two of the ways / methods
• You should explain which one you think is more important, giving reasons
• You may use the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use our own words as far as possible.

-> In your conclusion, you should state which one of the two is more important.

Conclusion (final paragraph)

Taking everything mentioned above into consideration, I conclude that the responsibility of encouraging young people lies by both, sports clubs and schools. However, as schools play a huge role in young people’s lives and as they spend almost 8 hours of their day at school, I would argue that the responsibility of encouraging young people lies with the schools

Conclusion (final paragraph)

In conclusion, while it can be said that clubs may provide more variety and attention to each child, the costs and availability of qualified trainers currently negate those advantages. Schools are the best choice because of their availability and ease of situation for the children who already know some of the teachers and students. Therefore, schools should be our children’s introduction to the sport’s world.

B - Communicative achievement

• format, register and function. For example, a personal letter should not be written as a formal report, should be laid out accordingly, and use the right tone for the communicative purpose.
• quality of a text that allows a reader to derive meaning and not be distracted
• complex ideas -> explain your ideas

C - Organisation

-> logical and ordered

Linking words and cohesive devices:

• basic high-frequency items (such as ‘and’, ‘but’, 'also')  
• words like ‘because’, ‘first of all’,  'secondly, ‘finally’).

• Moreover, ... / Furthermore, ... / In addition, ... / What is more, ..../ As a result, ... / Unfortunately, ... / 
• Reference and ellipsis (omit words to avoid repetition)

C - Organisation

Title

Introduction (-> opening statement to engage the reader's interest / introduce the topic)

Body paragraph 1

Body paragraph 2

Conclusion (-> clear indication of which approach or method the writer considers more important)

Do's & Don'ts

• Do NOT use headings
• Leave a space between each paragraph
• Use a varied range of linking words
• Try to write coherent body paragraphs (use linking words in body paragraphs) 
• Try to link the different body paragraphs: One approach... / An alternative approach would be to.... /

B Academic Achievement /  C Organisation

With the wide variety of sports clubs available in our country, there surely would be something for every child to enjoy. That and the fact that these sports encourage teamwork and have been scientifically proven to increase confidence is all the more reason to make such clubs more available for children. Moreover, providing a choice for the child and learning how to keep track of their own fitness and health will be beneficial to the development of their independence. It would be preferable that financial help would be provided for families that can’t afford the participation fees, so that every child has a chance of having a healthy future. 

Yet, until such help can be provided, resources that are readily available can be used. Since every child is required to attend school till the age of 18, it would be the perfect place to nurture the love of exercise. That and the fact that most schools already have their own gym halls with many tools available at hand. Extracurricular activities and clubs should be widely announced and information about the availability of the gym for those interested should be in the hands of those who want to do sports individually.

-> complex  ideas

-> well-structured (both within each paragraph and the essay as a whole)

Quiz: Linking words

Contrast 

1) The team haven't been playing too well. ......, they are expected to win this afternoon.

1. Nevertheless,
2. In contrast
3. On the contrary
4. Whereas

2) ........ in nearly every country in the world they drive on the right, in England they insist on driving on the left.

1. One the one hand
2. While
3. Nevertheless
4. In contrast

3) ........ to the north, which will remain warm and sunny, the south will become cloudy during the early morning.

1. On the contrary
2. In contrast
3. Although
4. While

4) He couldn't get the machine to work ........ following the instructions carefully.

1. despite
2. however
3. while
4. yet

5) I'm not tired at all. ........, I'm feeling full of energy.

1. However
2. In contrast
3. On the contrary
4. Despite

6) ........ the computer had recently been repaired, it still kept crashing.

1. Although
2. Whereas
3. In spite of
4. Nevertheless

7) I know we agreed to raise the issue at the next meeting ........ we simply won't have the time to discuss it.

1. although
2. whereas
3. but
4. still

8) The man was arrested ........ claiming to have been nowhere near the scene of the crime.

1. whereas
2. in spite of
3. yet
4. in contrast