Restorative Conversations

• Resorative Conversations
• Higher Education (degree)

Restorative Conversations in our classrooms.

1994...

In the early part of my career I believed it was up to me to find the answers rather than ask the right questions to help others find the right answers

1998...

I moved to a school where shouting was the behaviour management technique of choice...

Story of Mark and his upbringing

• Mark was always getting into fights and arguments
• I would punish him for these transgressions and move on
• I would shout at him when I was cross - we were in a school where shouting at children was common
• First parents evening came and Marks mother attended with a younger sibling. No father
• I shared with her how Mark was often in trouble for fighting and arguing and that this needed to stop
• I later shared with the HT my conversation with Marks mother
• The HT asked if I knew Marks family story - I didn't
• Marks father was in prison because he had tried to decapitate Marks mother with a sword
• Mark had witnessed this

I decided that I would try and find out as much as I could about the families I worked with. During the first parent evening I changed my approach. I spent more time developing a relationship rather than imparting my view of their child. I grew to understand the pupils in my class much better as a result.

My understanding after the first parents evening

Love

"Twenty-five years of neurobiological research tells us that children learn best when they feel loved" 

Dr Andrew Curran

Relationships...

...aren't built in a day, they are built daily

Actions speak louder than words

Its not always what we say or what we do, but how we do it and how students end up feeling.

Be authentic

•  Don't pretend!
• Know and pronounce their names correctly
  
• Compliment them
• Ask questions
• Remain positive
• Be consistent
• Smile
• Be present
• Acknowledge everyone 

Restorative conversations are...

about elevating the culture of the school so that people are pulled in, not pushed out.

Ubuntu

"A philosophy that considers the success of the group above the individual"

Lundin & Nelson

Ubuntu in a school context

What are you going to do in order to enable the community around you improve?

Restorative conversations are...

about compassion

about behaviours

about change

about leadership

about communities

about collaboration

about children and young people

Relational Leadership

...isn't about being in charge, its about taking care of those in your charge.

Restorative meetings

Sitting in a circle