C/07-08

• English
• Special Education

Shall

How would you handle the following situations?    

Your hotel pillow has a dark stain on it.

The people in the room next door are making love (loudly).

You find something floating in your toilet.

Whether you're travelling to the islands or the mountains of Thailand, you're likely to spend at least one night in its capital city on the way. Bangkok might be noisy and polluted but it's also an exciting city with plenty of things to see and do. Why not make it a longer stay?

Where to stay

The Khao San Road was a famous traveller spot even before Leonardo di Caprio's character in the film The Beach stayed there. But it's noisy, not very pretty and not very Thai. For something more authentic, Phra Kanong offers an alternative place to stay, with its fantastic street markets where everyday Bangkok people eat, work and live. It's not as convenient for the main tourist sites, but it has a Skytrain station so you can be at the Grand Palace in 20 minutes.

How to get around

Bangkok's traffic can be a nightmare. Sure, you can easily take a taxi – if you want to spend hours stuck in traffic jams – but there are two much better ways to get around the city. To explore the temples and historical sites, catch an express boat river taxi or a longtail boat along the Chao Phraya river and the canals. For the modern part of the city, the Skytrain is a fast, cheap way to travel from the river to the shopping malls and nightlife of Sukhumvit, and the famous Chatuchak street market.

Where to eat

The simple answer is: everywhere! Thai street food is among the best in the world, and for around $5 you can eat a filling and delicious meal. Some food stands have little plastic seats where you can sit and eat and they cook the same dish over and over, like fried chicken on rice or Pad Thai noodles. Head for Chinatown – Yaowarat Street – and choose whatever looks most interesting from the many excellent Chinese and Thai restaurants and food stands.  

What to do

After you've seen the main sites like the Giant Buddha at the temple of Wat Pho and the spectacular Grand Palace, and shopped at Chatuchak market, check out the snake farm and watch the live snake show. You can even touch a snake yourself if you want to!

One night is enough time to see Bangkok.

1. True
2. False

Khao San Road is an authentic Thai area of the city.

1. True
2. False

Phra Kanong is further away from the main tourist sites than Khao San Road is.

1. True
2. False

The river boat taxis often get stuck in traffic too.

1. True
2. False

Taking the Skytrain is a faster way to see the city than going by taxi.

1. True
2. False

You need to choose where to eat carefully, as not everywhere is good.

1. True
2. False

Read and translate the following texts that explain our society and economy through the example of two cows!

FEUDALISM:
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM:
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

FASCISM:
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

DICTATORSHIP:
    You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY:
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE COMMUNISM:
    You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM:
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

MILITARIANISM:
    You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
    The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

ENVIRONMENTALISM:
    You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

ANARCHY:
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

TOTALITARIANISM:
    You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

SURREALISM:
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

THERAPYISM:
    You have two cows. One is a metaphor for your inner child. The other is the manifestation of anger toward a parental figure. You take one of the cows on walks through grassy fields by the gentle ocean waves. The other you beat with an anger bat.

Now, let's check how do different companies of nations act :)

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One of them is a horse...

A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both of them are sorry.

A DUTCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. They refuse to get milked. They come forward and declare they are gay. You take them to a coffee shop and smoke a joint together. Peace, cows!

Goodbye!