Personal Response

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• havo
• Leerjaar 5

     

     Writing a  Personal Response

Personal Response

In the personal response you are expected to give your own opinion on a statement clearly and coherently. 

Your response should be at least 300 words long

and consist of 5 paragraphs.

There are two approaches which can be used to respond to the thesis statement:

1. The one-sided approach

 

2. The balanced approach

1. The one-sided approach

- Introduction

- 3 paragraphs with arguments for (supporting) or against the           thesis

- Conclusion

2. The balanced approach

- introduction

- 2 paragraphs with arguments supporting the thesis

- 1 paragraph with arguments against the thesis

- Conclusion

Before you start writing: 

- you have to decide if you want to choose approach number 1       or number 2.

- you have to make a plan with your arguments, evidence and         examples.

Introduction

Attention grabber  

Bridge 

Thesis statement 

Introduction

The introduction functions like a movie preview, to give your audience a taste of what’s to come, without giving away too much detail so that it does not steal any attention from the main body. You want your reader to be interested in what you have to say.

Attention Grabber

Begin the introductory paragraph with a broad, general statement about the paper’s topic or even a question. Try to make it interesting and catchy to encourage your reader to want more information. Remember that the first few sentences give the reader the first impression of your personal response; it is extremely important that you make a good first impression.

Attention Grabber

You need a good attention grabber to make it interesting and catchy so your reader wants to continue reading.

But how do you come up with a good attention grabber? In general, there are two options:

Example of an attention grabber which is made up of a general observation:

A difficult problem that is facing society today is euthanasia, which is another word for mercy killing. Thousands of people are mortally ill because of an incurable disease. They are kept alive in artificial ways. They have no chance to recover completely, but most legal systems do not allow doctors to end their patients’ lives. Fatally ill patients in all countries should be given the choice to legally end their lives. 

Example of a shocking attention grabber:

Every day, fatally ill patients suffer horrendously and are begging to die. They are kept alive in artificial ways. They have no chance to recover completely, but most legal systems do not allow doctors to end their patients’ lives. Fatally ill patients in all countries should be given the choice to legally end their lives.

Bridge

The bridge consists of two or three sentences to guide your reader from your attention grabber to the thesis statement without revealing your arguments 

Example 1:

Thousands of cyclists in the Netherlands suffer severe head injuries every year. This number has to be decreased. Cyclists must be better protected in traffic. Helmets should be obligatory for cyclists in the Netherlands.

Example 2:

Traffic jams during rush hours are terrible in the Netherlands. It is a small country and everybody needs to get to work. The government should make sure fewer people go by car. Taking the train or bus should be encouraged. Public transport should be free in the Netherlands.

One-sided approach:

Body paragraph 1, 2 AND 3:

- Point supporting thesis statement

- Evidence

- Example

Conclusion

Summarize your three points supporting the thesis statement in other words than you have used in the three body paragraphs.

Balanced approach:

Body paragraph 1 AND 2

- Point supporting thesis statement

- Evidence

- Example

Balanced Approach:

Body paragraph 3:

- Point against thesis statement

- Evidence

- Example

Conclusion:

Summarize both views (for and against thesis statement) and end with your final stance on the thesis statement.

Body Paragraphs

The body paragraphs are the most important paragraphs in your personal response. They contain arguments to convince your reader to agree with you. If you do not offer plausible explanations, you are not likely to convince your reader.

POINT

The first sentence of the paragraph contains the POINT you want to make, (either in favour of or against the thesis statement. Starting with the point helps the reader understand what you are going to argue in that paragraph. 

POINT

Let’s have a look at an example of a sentence stating the point of a paragraph supporting the thesis statement Helmets should be obligatory for cyclists in the Netherlands.

First of all, a helmet will make sure fewer cyclists are killed or injured in traffic.

EVIDENCE

After the point you will present some EVIDENCE

First of all, a helmet will make sure fewer cyclists are killed or injured in traffic. A helmet is made of hard plastic on the outside and a few centimetres of polystyrene on the inside. Together, these layers protect the cyclist’s head in an accident. 

Example

First of all, a helmet will make sure fewer cyclists are killed or injured in traffic. A helmet is made of hard plastic on the outside and a few centimetres of polystyrene on the inside. Together, these layers protect the cyclist’s head in an accident. For example, if the cyclist falls off the bike and hits the asphalt, the helmet will break the fall and reduce the risk of serious head injuries. 

To help structure your ideas for the reader, you make use of linking words.

First of all, a helmet will make sure fewer cyclists are killed or injured in traffic. A helmet is made of hard plastic on the outside and a few centimetres of polystyrene on the inside. Together, these layers protect the cyclist’s head in an accident. For example, if the cyclist falls off the bike and hits the asphalt, the helmet will break the fall and reduce the risk of serious head injuries. 

Another example

The thesis statement is: 

Public transport should be free in the Netherlands.

POINT

Most importantly, free public transport will reduce global warming.

EVIDENCE

Most importantly, free public transport will reduce global warming. Cars emit great amounts of CO2, which is a gas that is harmful for the environment. It increases the greenhouse effect and therefore contributes to global warming. 

Example

Most importantly, free public transport will reduce global warming. Cars emit great amounts of CO2, which is a gas that is harmful for the environment. It increases the greenhouse effect and therefore contributes to global warming. So, if more people take the train or go by bus to work, there will be fewer cars on the road and thus less CO2 and that is better for the environment.

Linking words

Most importantly, free public transport will reduce global warming. Cars emit great amounts of CO2, which is a gas that is harmful for the environment. It increases the greenhouse effect and therefore contributes to global warming. So, if more people take the train or go by bus to work, there will be fewer cars on the road and thus less CO2 and that is better for the environment.

Now have a look at a complete personal response.
Please answer the following questions while reading it:

1. Is the personal response an example of a one-sided or of a balanced                  personal response?

2. Which sentence is the attention grabber? Mark it yellow.

3. Which sentence is the thesis statement? Mark it green.

4. Underline the POINT in each paragraph.

5. Does each paragraph have EXPLANATION/EVIDENCE?

6. Does each paragraph have an EXAMPLE?

7. Does the conclusion round up the POINTS?

8. Which linking words have been used?

Now it is your turn:

Write your own personal response using the following thesis statement:

 Children are (not) too reliant on mobile phones nowadays.   (PR 1; weeks 35 & 36)

Before you hand your work in to be checked, 

have you:

- Checked your grammar and spelling?

- Used linking words?

- Made your POINT clear at the beginning of each body                       paragraph?

- Checked whether your response is clear and coherent?