V6 - P1 - Week 7 - Lesson 1 - Essay Feedback - 2024-2025

• Engels
• Middelbare school
• vwo
• Leerjaar 6

V6 - Essay Feedback

Today's Lesson

Essay Feedback:

- What do you see? 

- Things that I noticed

- Correct the thesis statements

- Good examples

- Receive feedback on your own essay

- Grading system

Good thesis examples

Human greed, not money itself, is the root of all evil.

 To combat this problem, a global tax should be introduced to distribute money more evenly across the world.

Money itself is not evil, it is the thirst for control that fuels evil behaviour.

Correct the thesis statement:
This decision would help with focus, but should we not instead teach students how to deal with those distractions?

An example is the amount of distraction students have in the classroom, that is why the government wants to decide to ban all phones from within the classroom. 

Correct the thesis statement:
But in this comparison still lies the question: Are the smart monkeys covetous for their bananas?

Correct the thesis statement:
And last but not least, for most money doesn’t come out of nowhere, so you will have make compromises in your daily life.

Finished!

You received feedback on your essay

You saw examples of do's and don'ts in essay writing

Well done!