Mentor lesson 4 nov 2021

• Nederlands
• Middelbare school
• vwo
• Leerjaar 1

Friendships + Healthy Relationships: Empathy

Lesson objectives

• Students will be able to describethe concepts of empathy and sympathy and be able to distinguish between the two.

• Students will practice exercises for utilizing both empathy and sympathy.
  

What is empathy?

Empathy 

Empathy is the ability to understand another’s feelings and what they are experiencing. 

What is sympathy?

Sympathy

Sympathy is the emotion of pity or sorrow, expressed when something sad or tragic occurs. 

Write any words or activities that
you associate with the word
“Empathy”,

Write any words or activities that
you associate with the word
“Sympathy”,

Empathy vs. sympathy

The main difference between the two is sympathy is a personal, more individualized feeling where as empathy is a more complex expression that takes into account someone else's feelings and allows you to develop a deeper connection with others. 

Language is very important when distinguishing the difference between empathy and sympathy. Statements that utilize empathy always relate back to the person you are trying to connect with; empathetic language is void of personal “I..” statements. 

Examples of Sympathetic Language:

I know how you feel.

I’m sorry to hear that. 

I feel bad for you. 

I’m thinking of you.

These statementsoffer a simple response and they offer minimal comfort and validation. It is good to be sympathetic, however expression of empathy is what builds connections and offers up deeper understanding to someone's circumstances. 

Examples of Empathetic language:

You are having a tough time. 

You will make it through this situation; you’re strong. 

You must be struggling with this. If there is anything you need, you can rely on me. 

Thank you for sharing; I’m glad you told me. 

The key to empathetic language and behaviors is the ability to validate someone's feelings and actions rather than agreeing with them or offering an easy response. 

Empathy can be practiced and learned. There  are important distinctions between how someone displays empathy and how someone displays sympathy. Generally, sympathy redirects attention back to oneself, whereas empathy focuses on the other person, while listening and acknowledging their feelings. Empathy is usually, but not always, devoidof, “I...”statements.

Empathy or Sympathy?

Please read the statements in the following slides and determine whether they are an act of Empathy or Sympathy.

Saying, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Saying, “You are having a tough time.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Saying, “Thank you for sharing.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Be present in the moment with someone, without judging their feelingsor reactions.

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Telling a story about whenyou lost your cattooand how sad you were when it happened.

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Saying, “I am here for you.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Saying, “I know how you feel.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Offering advice.

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Saying, “At least you can still bring your grade up,” if your friend failed a test.

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Validating someone’s feelings by saying, “That sounds really challenging.”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Show interest by asking, “What has this been like for you?”

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

Just listening.

1. Empathy
2. Sympathy

What is Compassion?

Compassion is the ability to sympathize with others and their situation coupled with the desire to do something to alleviate their struggle or distress. While empathy involves our ability to feel or take on the perspective of another, compassion occurs when those feelings include motivation to help. Practicing compassion in multiple aspects of your life will allow you to make a much more significant impact with the connections you make through empathy. 

Empathy and compassion

While empathy and compassion are often used interchangeably, they are two separate concepts. In simple terms, compassion is the next step from empathy. Empathy is sharing with the feelings of another, and compassion is having those feelings along with feelings of a desire to help. 

Empathy and Compassion role play

Pair up for a discussion-based role play. 

The goal of this exercise is to  actively practice utilizing empathy and compassion in a real-world context. 

One of the pair will say one of the role-play statements and create a simulated situation that allows the other student to practice empathy or compassion.

Once the statement has been made, the second student will practice empathy by replying to the situation using empathetic language. If compassion, or acting to help, is appropriate for the situation,  role-play what you would do. For example, when someone has lost a significant other and is grieving, sometimes simply showing empathy may be the best way to help.

Role-Play Scenarios

•“My dog is really sick right now. He’s been at throwing up his food all day.”

•“I have been having a really tough time with my mom. We argue everyday about something different.”

•“I just found out I didn’t get into my first-choice college.”

•“My sister borrowedmy cell phone and dropped it. Now the screen is cracked but I can’t afford a new one.”

•“My grandpa passed away today. I haven’t seen him in awhile,but mydad is taking it pretty hard.”

•“My little brother was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma. It’s a type of cancer.”

You can also come up with your own situation.