Social Skills Workshop 2

• Communicatie
• HBO

Workshop 2: Conflict

Lesson objectives

1. Understand and apply theory on conflict resolution
2. Self-evaluation of performance
   
3. Peer evaluation of performance

Have you ever dealt with complaints in your professional or personal life? What happened/how did it get solved? Explain.

Activate prior knowledge:

Ask students to explain a time they have been on either end of a complaint in their professional or personal lives. If they have never experienced this/can't think of an example, ask them to consider what they think it would look like in the role-play given for today's workshop. Discuss the answers once everyone has had a few minutes to type up their thoughts.

How many different management styles were mentioned in the preparation reading for today?

1. 1
2. 3
3. 5
4. 8

The answer is 5:

1. competing

2. avoiding

3. accomodating

4. compromising

5. collaborating

Source: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/conflict-resolution/conflict-management-styles-pitfalls-and-best-practices/ 

Discuss with a partner/write down the pitfalls of the competing, avoiding, accomodating, and compromising styles.

Competing. When adopting a competing style, people view interpersonal conflict resolution as win-lose games. Rather than recognizing the value of ensuring that each party walks away satisfied, disputants focus narrowly on claiming as much as they can for themselves. While value claiming is an important component of negotiation, a single-minded competitive orientation sacrifices value in the long run and perpetuates conflict.

Avoiding. Because dealing with conflict directly can be highly uncomfortable, many of us prefer to avoid it. An avoidant conflict style might at first appear to be the opposite of a competitive style, but in fact, it can be similarly obstructive. When we avoid conflict, we often allow problems to grow worse.

Accommodating. Because they defer so often to others, negotiators who adopt an accommodating style can seem agreeable and easygoing. But when people consistently put others’ needs first, they are liable to experience resentment that builds up over time. Accommodating negotiators typically will benefit from learning to express their needs and concerns.

Compromising. Sometimes we try to resolve conflict by proposing seemingly equal compromises, such as meeting in the middle between two extreme positions, or by making a significant compromise just to move forward. Although a compromising conflict style can move a conversation forward, the solution is often unsatisfying and temporary because it doesn’t address the root issues at stake.

A collaborative negotiation style is usually the most effective style for managing conflict and fostering productive long-term relationships

True

False

The answer is true.

What are the benefits of the collaborative style according to your reading and the video you watched?

Reading:

Those who adopt a collaborative conflict-resolution style work to understand the deeper needs behind other parties’ demands and to express their own needs. They see value in working through strong emotions that come up, and they propose tradeoffs across issues that will give each side more of what they want. A collaborative negotiation style is usually the most effective style for managing conflict and fostering productive long-term relationships; however, different conflict-management styles can be effectively applied to different phases and types of conflict in management. Moreover, though we may have a predisposition toward a particular conflict style, we adopt different styles depending on the situation.

Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0EETYZoJI

1. collaborative spirit

2. flexibility

3. practical action tips

Steering the conversation in your favored direction/keeping control is important in the collaborative style.

1. True
2. False

FALSE! It is important to let go of the need for control in a collaborative style.

Why is it important to NOT look at the other side as a competitor?

Answer: you don't get any of the benefits of a true collaboration/it spoils the tone and potentially future dealings with each other.

What are the benefits of being "flexible"?

1. creates boundaries

2. if you only have a ''hammer'', everything begins to look like a nail - this does not apply to all situations

3. look at everything case by case for the best solution

Why is it important to offer actual solutions?

If you only discuss the problems or point out the flaws in the solutions offered by the other side, you will never come to any solution. Focus on reaching a solution/adding value!

Dealing with angry customer

Show empathy!

Examples:

"If I hear it that way, everything has been one big frustration for you so far. Is that right?"

(feedback feelings)

"You feel uncomfortable because this process has not gone as fast as you expected?"

(reflective describe)

Alternative solutions

You can ask something like "What would you like to have happened?" Sometimes the solution a customer wants is less than what you had in mind. If the customer now wants something from you that you cannot deliver, you simply say: "We need to find another possibility that is more feasible".

Avoid words that provoke reactions in your language. Focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do.

Discuss with a partner: what were the 8 tips for dealing with angry customers? Submit your answers here!

1. Keep yourself under control. When a customer has strong emotions, it is easy to go defensive. However, this still helps you the customer. Your defensive reaction can only increase the tension. Shift your attention from your feelings to that of the customer. This makes you better able to listen effectively and if you do, you don't have to defend yourself at all.

2. Listening to facts and feelings, not to style and manner. This tip builds on the previous one: focus on what you really need to listen to and understand, the content of the customer's message in the emotions being conveyed. If you just pay attention to the way the message is delivered, you will irrevocably lose sight of the meaning of the message. After the conversation, make sure you can understand the whole message you are hearing; so the facts and the feelings.

3. Cooperate, not against. Sometimes in situations with difficult customers, the service provider sees the customers as the problem and therefore shows little understanding or help, so that the customer's problem remains underexposed. That gives you a kind of battle, you against the customer

Instead, look at the situation with the following formula: you + the customer against the problem. When you focus on that, you work with the customer to solve a problem: a much more positive approach, which is focused on collaboration.

4. Follow troubleshooting guidelines and use flexibly. Following troubleshooting model from the previous section. Know that the troubleshooting steps are in a general order, but adapt to the situation. More importantly, you often repeat step 1 (giving responses with empathy) in the conversation based on how the customer comes across. The tools that you must always use in this communication are the following:

•active listening with empathy

• formulate positively in an assertive manner

• solve problems with an emphasis on solutions.

5. Make the communication personal. So that you know the name of the customer and use it occasionally during the conversation. Also gives your name. Now you have 2 people who know each other by name and work together on a problem, not 2 relative strangers who are in an emotionally charged situation. This personal approach is particularly helpful in relieving tension and creating a pleasant atmosphere for talking.

6. Ask for help if you need it. Do not put unnecessary pressure on yourself if you are not sure how to best solve the customer's problem. You do not want to promise the wrong things, then you make the customer was really angry. However, he also does not want to be an obstacle that is unable to solve a problem and that says no because he does not know what he is riding.

Let the customer know you need to sort things out and set a time to call back. Seeks the necessary support, so that the customer gets the best possible solution.

7. Apologize for others' mistakes, but don't criticize them. When the cause of customer irritation is someone else's fault in your organization, sincerely apologize as if you were the one who made the mistake, then focus on the most positive as soon as possible and correct the action you can to undertake. Avoid criticizing a colleague or other department that caused the error. You represent the entire organization for the external customer. When the customer becomes critical of your own organization or people in it, you convince the customer that he should stop doing business with your company. Rather focus on solving the problem.

8. Use positive self-talk. like most people, you probably talk to yourself regularly. When you ask people if they ever talk to themselves, many people nervously raise a finger as if they are afraid to admit that if you often do it out loud, others will wonder if you are healthy. But talking to yourself in yourself is completely normal. We also call that thinking.

In stressful, challenging situations, you may say a lot of negative things to yourself in your head: what a misery, or why should those customers bother me today, but maybe other positive thoughts are going through your head.

With positive self-talk you give yourself a message that keeps you communicating positively. You have to find your own wording for this, things like: "stay focused," and "listen," and make them positive. These kinds of messages help you to better control yourself and are more willing to help solve their situation, which is essential for solving problems for difficult customers.

The hot seat

Go to the role-play description for scenario 1 and 2 and scan it quickly. Two students will role-play scenario 1 while the class gives feedback. Two new students will role-play scenario 2 while the class gives feedback. Be sure to email the feedback forms to the students in addition to giving oral feedback.

Practice time

In project groups, take turns playing student A/student B/giving feedback for both scenario 1 and 2 from the workshop preparation material. Apply what you have learned today/from the reading during your talks. 

Questions?

How would you rate your own performance today?

😒🙁😐🙂😃

Remind students these results are anonymous.

Did you fill in feedback forms and actively participate today?

OF COURSE 😇

Somewhat 😬

No; I will do more next time! 😥

Next time

Prepare for our Sales workshop by reading the assigned material, watching the assigned video and reviewing the role-play instructions.